Even though two-kid (or more) families seem to be the norm, the truth is, a lot of parents brand the decision to accept an only child — or that's simply how life plays out. With ane child, y'all can give all your energy to a unmarried kiddo, prioritize career growth or travel, and stress less about finances. Conversely, maybe you want more kids, but just can't afford them, or wellness issues prevented you from having more. Or perhaps beingness "one and washed" always felt similar the right choice.

Whatever the case, it's a personal journey that doesn't take to exist dedicated in the face of well-significant relatives or complete strangers inquiring nearly your side by side babe. Hither are six reasons to be a one-child family, straight from parents who explicate what information technology's like: the pros, cons, and everything in between.

i. You're focused on your career.

Information technology'south entirely possible, of course, to thrive as a working mother and lean into your industry no matter how many children y'all accept. Only there's no doubtfulness that children in the plural sense make that path more complicated, and having i kid frees you upwards in certain ways you may non otherwise experience.

"I have worked so hard for near xv years at my career, and there is so much more than that I want to accomplish," said Christina H., a mom of a 14-month-onetime. "My husband and I don't have a very big extended family, so we do non have much help. Adding another kid into our already cluttered schedule just seems less than ideal to us. It's not how we imagined it to be, but with a ton of soul searching, we have decided that this is our little family and it feels merely right."

Emily 50., a instructor and urban arts coordinator based in Iowa, had a similar experience. "Having one kid but feels right," she said. "I utilize a lot of emotional energy supporting other people's kids and I'g very conscious of the fact that I don't think I could add another into the mix and exist the best I can be for my daughter and the kids I serve. I was asked to speak to a grouping of women once, and right before I went upward to speak, the woman who recruited me asked when I was having another babe and I told her I wasn't. She said, "How could y'all do that to your child?" I was literally paralyzed, as she said this in a room total of women, and I was there to talk about being a professional. It was steeped with irony and made me feel horrible."

"My husband and I currently accept ane child," said Heather V. "Our son is 5 years old and between the three of usa, nosotros accept a actually not bad matter going. We own a small publishing company that makes magazines and book, and we're able to manage our business organisation and the needs of our family pretty well right now. We're partly terrified to disrupt the routine we have and we're partly just unsure of the unknown, to exist frank. Personally, I'thou not much for over-stimulation so I question my ability to handle the anarchy of more kids and a growing business. It's a personal struggle I've battled with, being a mother and entrepreneur."

two. You're a unmarried parent.

Families come in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes, people forget that single parents may not accept the capacity to take more than children for various reasons. For example, Liz One thousand. spent her 20'south investing in graduate schoolhouse and working for global 100 companies. In her 30's, despite being divorced and without a partner to raise a kid, she realized she wanted a family — and then she took advantage of her fertility and committed to the choice of existence a single mom.

"I assumed I'd manage okay," she shared. "Subsequently all, I read articles nigh motherhood and the struggles of being a single mom. I was prepared emotionally and financially with a plan for daycare and nanny expenses. Reality struck quickly. My pregnancy was challenging, and I was so nauseated that I was put on prescription medication. I ended up in the emergency room a time or two. The hardest part about being a single mom is the struggle for balance and perspective. Many times, I wished I had a partner who could assistance me make up one's mind if I needed to go to the doctor or help me select between two styles of crib. There are a lot of manufactures about how much work it is to be a single mom merely too few conversations about how hard it can be to make decisions. It's not piece of cake, only my son is a joy, and I wouldn't take it any other style."

3. Yous went through infertility treatment or suffered a miscarriage.

"We are currently pregnant with our fourth baby after three miscarriages, and due in April," said mom Jasmine W. "I'm 37, my trunk is exhausted, my encephalon is wearied, and as of at present, my married man and I feel complete with this footling guy. But equally shortly as we appear this pregnancy to our families, the 'you tin can't only have one child' comments started — lots of pressure from family to keep producing, notwithstanding all we take been through."

Many, many women are in this same boat, which makes the whole expectation around having more than than one baby especially painful due to the difficulty they've already experienced. For case, Mary B. and her husband faced ii miscarriages, four unsuccessful IUIs and and so what she calls a "miracle" IVF baby — their one viable embryo out of 13 became their picayune girl, and she knew they were done after that.

News anchor Hilary Thou. felt the same style subsequently having her now iv-month-old son. "With the crazy hours I've kept over the years and the high-stress environment of live television, it was a struggle to get significant. Later a miscarriage through IVF, we tried a holistic approach and became pregnant with our son. The trauma of miscarriage and the unpredictability of our schedules really helped shape our decision to have but ane kid. It took several years to have this one, and I can't imagine going through everything again to endeavour and accept another. We desire to spend as much quality time raising him as possible."

4. Your partner already had kids, or y'all started a family afterwards in life.

For Leah One thousand., the path to parenthood was a total surprise. She spent about of her life unable to take a baby due to fibromyalgia — until she unexpectedly got pregnant later she turned 41. Her married man was 45 when their kid was born, and she never got pregnant over again, though she loves beingness a mother.

"I met my hubby 20 years ago," said Leigh Ann, an Idaho-based writer and blogger. "He is 14 years older than me and was a unmarried dad with main custody of three children ages 8, xiv and 16 when we met. I did not accept any children of my own only desperately wanted to. Fortunately, my husband loves being a dad and understood my desire to have a kid of our own (he kind of had to, since I basically fabricated information technology a condition of getting married). He said, 'OK, just just one more than!' I got it; he had already been in the business concern of raising kids for 16 years!"

five. Yous're not sure about having some other kid — however or ever.

Even though Mary B. thought she and her husband were washed with ane child, a baby boom between friends and coworkers introduced nagging thoughts of doubt, "Would we regret not trying for a 2d? Would we regret trying for a second and possibly — very maybe — not existence able to (those eggs aren't getting any younger and the odds weren't great the first time)? Could we deal with that heartache? What if — and this sounds so selfish and heartless — we accept a second miracle baby and that babe isn't as easy as our daughter was? Would we regret having that 2d?"

They ended upwardly existence certain that one kid was the right pick for their family, but other mamas can relate to the second-guessing and abiding questioning. "We spent 10 years growing a concern before we decided to grow our family, and then many of our decisions are looked at from a business organisation perspective," said Heather. "Such every bit, tin we afford information technology? Do we have the manpower for information technology? Deep down, I would love some other child, so I'm constantly praying that if it's meant to be, God volition bless united states of america unexpectedly with some other kid, so we won't have to make the decision on our own."

half-dozen. Y'all just don't want more children — period.

"For me, it was more of a pick," explained Antonina, a London-based family lensman. "When I had my son, I had a very idealistic view of what maternity would wait similar for me. But my baby wouldn't slumber, I alive far away from my family, the finances were stretched, I got hit by a chronic affliction that fabricated me constantly tired, and to top it off, my partner didn't exactly turn out to be a super-dad. Later the offset few hard years, things started to settle, parenting got a scrap easier, and my son started begging me for a picayune blood brother, pinky-promising he'd help take intendance of the infant. And every time he did, my heart was breaking for him. Because I knew I couldn't — I wouldn't."

Jen L., parent of a preschooler, shares a similar mindset. "My husband would probably like another one, but I do not," she said. "We've already sold all the infant gear, and barring a nativity control failure, we will non have another. We actually take a really nice life — it seems like parents of more than than one child are forever frazzled running afterward both children, whereas nosotros live a pretty relaxed life. We travel, and I often travel with her by myself, because you can when you only have i."

"If I'k being truly honest, my biggest reason is this: I don't want to," said Lexie R. "I never say that when people ask considering I don't want to sound selfish; instead, I just brush it off with something similar, "Our son is merely then perfect, we couldn't exercise any better if we tried!" But actually, I don't want to. I want to bask my time with my son without having to split it with some other child. I desire to save for his college and take him on vacations. I want to accept the mental energy to continue growing in my career field. I want to have the time to sit down quietly past myself and read a book! People occasionally tell me that I'll change my heed, only the more time I spend with my husband and our smart, curious, sweet boy, the more it feels similar simply the three of us is exactly what this family unit of measurement was meant to be."